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Gray Hairs

 


In 1990 my first gray hair showed up, at age 24.  Horrified, I plucked it out and taped it on the bathroom mirror, and cried.   I left it there for weeks for some significant reason, I can't right now remember.  I've spent decades and thousands of dollars hiding from reality. 

So six months ago... I decided to take the plunge into the unknown and unmask my natural hair color.

I have loved my dark hair created with the help of Hairprint, but the upkeep was getting a little excessive... like every three weeks excessive... and I felt anxious, embarrassed, and almost apologetic every time my "skunk line" would show up for the world to see.  Powders, sprays, and dyes have done their job to keep my gray covered up for years.   

I have been tempted more than once to cave and re-dye the whole thing.  The script that feeds my self-perception and encourages this cave-in runs something like this:

You look old.
You let yourself go.
You will be overlooked.
You will be ignored.
Your beauty is gone.
You have nothing to offer...
and
It's time for you to avoid new things and set aside adventures and dreams.

That last one kills me... like makes me want to kick and scream... 

"I am not that old!!"

Pair my internal dialogue with society's script about women with gray hair woven through mainstream media, social media forums, and fashion advertising which floods cultural thinking with phrases like... "feel younger, look younger, turn back the hands of time”... and the message is a pretty strong one.  Aging is to be hidden or avoided, at great cost if necessary.    

These observations and thoughts have weighed on my mind over the past few months, but not enough to keep me from taking the plunge and staying the course.  

It's time to let nature take its course and let my gray hairs (though they be many) make themselves known. 

On the practical side... I am totally impatient and want it grown out now.  It's going to take forever unless I want to cut my hair short and start fresh.  

The toxin-free advocate in me resists having it bleached out and then redyed to a silver-tone and then letting my natural color grow out from that point.  So, for now, I live with mousy brown tones with strands of grey fading through. It is a test of my vanity and freeing for my soul at the same time.  


Truth is good to look straight in the eye.  Even if it is the truth about your own aging.  

Be brave 
Be true
Walk your story 
Don't apologize for not fitting into society's mold...

"Be yourself... Everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde

Happy Day, Ya'll!

Kim
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