I am tired and my heart aches. I was not born with tough skin. I felt everything as a kid. There are even stories of me telling my mom that I hurt "all the way to my bones" when I didn't get invited to a neighbor's birthday party some Saturday afternoon. As I got older my ability to weather the disappointment of life got a little better. At least on the outside. On the inside I think I just got used to setting things (stress, loss, difficulty, worry) aside to be dealt with later. It worked. I was able to get up and move on after my mom died, to walk through the motions of life when months of infertility turned into years of empty arms... when financial hardship threatened our livelihood more than once, when adoption brought daily uncertainty into our lives... when loss of deep community filled our years with heart loneliness that extended into decades. I learned to go ...